Today I did a superb job in making an ass out of myself.
Dat ass...umf.
I woke up at 9 to the rings of a doorbell. No one was home, so I ran downstairs to open the doors. Apparently, the cleaners were coming today. I didn't know, so I had a mini panic attack. They started cleaning and I just sat there waiting for granny to come home.
That's when the day went downhill...
So as they finished cleaning, my grandma goes to them and begins a conversation. Normal, right? NOPE.
Here's a backstory: We have a couple sofas upstairs that are literally almost as old as me; we've had them since we moved to the US! Fourteen years later, the couch is now broken down, stained to no end, and just really in bad condition. So, my mom is urging my dad to buy a new one this weekend. My dad agrees and says he'll donate the old couch to our church.
That leads us to this afternoon... So my grandma offers our old couches to the cleaners. Now you may be thinking, "Okay...so?" And you're exactly right. It's no big deal. But something in my head just started freaking out. I don't even know. So I call my grandma to come towards me and tell her it's not a good idea because the couch has lost it's inner support and it's broken down. She tells me that we're donating the couch anyways and if they take it, it's okay. (Completely disregarding what I had to say.) So she goes back and tells the women that she'll call them in the evening about the couch. After they finish up, they take their pay and leave.
During this small period, I'm frantically texting my mom and dad. Since they don't pick up, I call them, too. Neither pick up. It's only after they leave that dad calls back on the home phone and says it's not a big deal and it wasn't a bad thing. In a second, he literally turned what I believed was a crisis into nothing. ._. He asks to talk to grandma, so I give her the home phone and go up to study.
Shortly afterwards, our Wifi connection was acting up. So I go downstairs to restart it and whatnot. That's when grandma approaches me. ( -.-")
The conversation went something like this (Translated from Hindi..):
Grandma: Did you tell dad about the couch?
Karen: Of course. It was weird that you told them to take it.
G: I didn't tell them to take it. I told them that if they wanted it, they could take it. Otherwise why would I say anything? Dad is donating it anyways.
K: Okay, but it is a very old couch! It's broken down!
G: So what? They sat down on it and tried it out. They liked it! Let them take it.
K: It's just not right, okay? But it doesn't matter, what I have to say means nothing.
....
As I storm upstairs she yells that she's sorry, which as the stubborn person I am, ignore.
At this point, I don't think much of anything. It's what happens next that makes everything horrible.
After I go upstairs, mom calls me after seeing my messages. As I'm talking to her, grandma overheard some of what I said about the couch and comes into the room. Letting out a chuckle, she tickled/poked my stomach and asked to talk to mom, implying she wanted to clear the situation up. I finished the conversation with mum and hung up, telling grandma that there was nothing to say.
Next conversation:
G: I'm sorry. Something so small became such a big thing.
K: No, it's nothing.
G: *sighs* You want lunch? I'll fry chicken.
K: No, I'm not hungry right now, I have to study for finals.
G: Okay, you study.
...
So as she's leaving, she said "I did not think it would become such a big thing." I wasn't sure if she was talking to me or herself.
So I replied...."It's okay. What's done is done. No big deal."
Then I begin to talk to myself... "What I say has no importance in thai house. You should just be quiet an not say anything."
That's when I mentally kill myself. I wasn't sure if she heard what I said. So I called out for her and she was like "What?" ._. Then I began to clarify by telling her I was talking to myself, not about her or to her. She didn't say anything and just went down to eat.
/dies/ I begin to die from guilt. So I just sit and roll around in my bed as I think of how bad that sounded and how disrespectful the whole thing was. The worst part is her birthday is tomorrow. /crying for being a horrible person/ So I made an ecard for her. Since I'm a stubborn kid with a big ego, I wouldn't be able to say anything out loud. So I wrote a longass message on the ecard. It's scheduled to be sent to her tomorrow.... Then I go back to studying, not leaving my room for hours.
Later, as my grandmother is awakening from her afternoon nap, I sneak I to her room and sit on her bed. I apologize to her.
It went something like this:
K: I'm sorry for this afternoon.
G: *laughing* What for?
K: For making something out of nothing...
G: It's okay baba~ (term of endearment of sorts)
...
I seriously believe that I live in my head. When my grandma gets that ecard tomorrow, she's gonna pee herself from laughter. /ready to die again/ She made what seemed like a crisis into nothing.
So far, it seems like the lesson of the day is that not everything in life that seems to be a crisis is actually one. And more than like, you're overreacting. Which for me is 100% of the time.
We continued to talk about India from there, and her travel plans when she leaves this coming fall. She was really relaxed and unworried. That was my perception, at least. I felt more comfortable after that, and less worried. I'm happy to have her as a grandma. :3
After that, I finally went downstairs to eat!
I first fried some chicken~ Then I made a wrap by putting the chicken in tortillas with lettuce and sour cream... It was unconventional but actually really good.
Shortly afterwards, the doorbell rang. Grandma opened the door and found a big box that said "Pro Flowers" on it. /surprised/ In it, contained two dozen roses sent by her other son in Florida! They are so very pretty ;-;
I had to separate them out into two different bouquets because they didn't fit into one vase :| I then continued to tease my dad about how he needed to step up to the plate and buy a better gift xD Grandma laughed, dad didn't find it too funny... :| /glared at/
Once mom got home, she kept pressuring me to go out driving with dad to get my 100 hours. I really don't wanna drive. Is that a bad thing?
We had weird named fish for dinner. No me gusta.
Count down to final exam: T-6 days
Love,
Asian Mother
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